In his latest move targeting illegal immigration, President Donald Trump announced late last week that he may shut down the United States' southern border.
A complete shutdown would disrupt millions of legal border crossings in addition to asylum seekers, as well as billions of dollars in trade, about $137 billion in food imports, according to a Reuters article.
While Trump worries about the "emergency state" of illegal immigration, there is a far more upsetting dilemma at hand:
Now what are we going to put on our toast?
President Trump's latest move could cost the nation's Millennials a dietary staple—forcing millions of twenty-somethings to actually top their morning toast with something other than avocado?!
If imports from Mexico are halted, the U.S. would run out of its avocado supply in three weeks, according to Steve Barnard, president and chief executive of Mission Produce, the largest distributor and grower of avocados in the world, as told to Reuters.
So America, that gives us three weeks, what now?
Baby boomers, now's your time to shine with all that advice you're always so eager to shove down our throats ... what in the world do we put atop gently browned bread every morning if the not beautifully chartreuse, high-protein fruit?
We surveyed a local population of old-timers to find out what elder generations did in the golden days with their toast.
Here's what they came up with: (Note: we do not recommend nor condone the consumption of Cheez-Whiz for any reason, except maybe to make your dog take his flea pill.)
"You could always do peanut butter and bacon."
"We used to just use butter."
"My aunt used to keep a big jar of Cheez-Whiz in her house. She would make like five pieces of toast with it every morning."
"What's that Australian topping called? Vegamite."
Someone also suggested peanut butter and jelly ... not for a sandwich.
Needless to say, the options are bleak and in the wake of a paranoia-driven crackdown on illegal immigration.
Mornings as we know them may never be the same.